die Frustration

I had the opportunity when I was accepted to the program to choose where I would be staying, living and working. The deal was that I had until May 1^st to secure an internship in a foreign country, without being present, and 11 months in advance. Needless to say, I did not secure an internship in advance. I didn't try to secure one in advance. Well that's not totally true, I googled some things, got bored and decided that it was such a long shot that it wasn't worth the effort. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how the mind of a boy genius functions.

Now, the last time I studied abroad, I was in Tübingen. There we had 30,000 students, which included close to 1000 exchange students. There were so many Americans that they didn't even all know each other. There was a bar or club on every street corner, and a party several times in the week. I wondered how people completed their degrees, there was so much to do. I spent 4 months having the best time of my life. I had class like 7 hours per week, I had an enormous friend group from English-speaking countries, and I could travel to France, Switzerland, or Austria for less than 5€ any weekend.

You can imagine my shock when I was placed in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, the least densely-populated state in Germany. My college here only has 2000 students, and of those only about 20 are other exchange students, I can name them all. There is one other American in the town. And there really isn't that much to do here. Apart from the American girl, none of my friends speak English. The nearest and only country adjacent is Poland, which, in fairness I am visiting next weekend. And mensa parties, parties in the school's cafeteria, are a highlight. There are only a handful of bars, but they aren't very hopping.

This placement did not meet my expectations at all. And here's why that's actually a good thing. My expectations were based on a 4-month study abroad stint in Tübingen. Tübingen was a blast, but in Tübingen I got the lowest grades in my life, speaking German was a rarity, and I probably spent more on booze than I did on food. In my defense on that last part, I can cook very cheaply, but whiskey is expensive!

Here in Neubrandenburg, if I open my mouth to speak, it has to be German or I won't be understood. There is most certainly less to do, but this also means that I can't escape to a bar with my American friends or to Switzerland with my Australian friends. It forces me to interact with Germans, to speak their language and to learn their culture. I am also forced to connect with Germans for friendship. I have learned more about German home life in the past month than I did in all my time in Tübingen. And that is the goal of my year here, not to study abroad, but to learn about another culture.

It sucks, though. I sit in class and the professor asks why the Earth has seasons. I know the answer is because the Earth tilts on its axis by about 22° and, as it rotates around the sun, certain parts get more or less light at a different angle, and that's why the sun hovers at the horizon toward the poles, and that's why we have solstices and equinoxes. And I open my mouth, but realize that I don't know how to say tilt, angle, hover, pole, equinox, or solstice. So I have to sit there silently. After class, people tell jokes that I don't get. I meet a German and I want to say “I really like you, you're so smart, and kind, and understanding when I stumble through a sentence and could we please get coffee sometime?”, but all that comes out is “You are cool.”

If I had to pick, I would never have chosen Neubrandenburg. But since I'm here, I'm (sort of) glad of it. I'm learning a lot about what it means to be a foreigner, and what it means to be in a foreign country. It's easy to be abroad when you're surrounded by friends and compatriots. I wouldn't have experienced a very important part of being abroad without having lived here. I would have lived only in Tübingen and claimed to understand Germany and Germans. Now I don't totally understand Germany or Germans, but I'm closer, and I'm thankful, and Lord Jesus I miss 1.50€ shots at Kukuk