Auch wenn ich wandere im Tal des Todesschattens...

I thought for a while about what I should title this post. At first I considered a more concrete and descriptive title, but then I checked my stats and noticed a trend. Most posts that have longer titles like jokes, quotes, or phrases tend to get more hits. So I went for something a little longer as a test case. And since my hit count is tabulated right when you load the page, I can give away my secret and you can't do anything about it.

But I digress, today's title is from the bible! I don't read the bible, I'm pretty sure that if I owned a copy it would burn my hands if tried to read it. Or I'd touch it and it would act like a book from Harry Potter

Is this sacrilegious? 

The quote is “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...” And let me tell you I was pretty nervous last week. Not shadow-of-death nervous, but close. In German universities there are two kinds of classes, because heaven forbid a lecture class allow students to give presentations as well, that would be chaos. So, I have two of these presentation-only seminars where two students each give a presentation every week. In these seminars the teachers are of course present to give scathingly blunt German criticism. “That presentation was absolutely awful,” or “Well I think almost everyone is asleep now, you can sit down.” After sitting in these classes for about 2 months, I was understandably nervous to have my turn under the gun.

Last week in my only master's class, special genetic technology, I had to give my presentation. Like a moron, I did what I would do in the States for a presentation. Pick the topic I knew the least about, I'm gonna say that I temporarily blacked out and made this stupid decision. Yeah, that's a good excuse. My topic was “Biotech Patents and their effect on Agriculture in Developed Nations.” This was a stupid decision because I never studied agriculture, I never studied patent law, and I only minored in politics. This means that I spent the past two weeks learning as much as I could about these subjects. Final result: were I a lawyer, I would probably drown myself. Patent law is god awful.

Incidentally, patent law has almost no effect on European agriculture. Most countries have forbidden growing genetically modified foods, Germany included. In the US however, all of our main food crops are genetically modified, well except sugar beets.

German sugar beets, about 6 feet high

I learned that Monsanto is ruthlessly efficient, but well within their rights in everything I studied. I also learned that US patent law is significantly more liberal that European patent law.

Anyways, I was freaking out about this presentation. Palm sweat, fast heart, the whole nine yards. I stand up, give my presentation in the time required, ask for questions, and prepare myself for the salvo. Little did I know that one of my two patron saints had interceded for me. See, the night before was a rocking party and all of the students were hung over or tired or both. So none of them had been paying enough attention to ask an intelligent question. I was asked to re-explain a single graphic, and then I was asked to define 2 words that were new.

I took my seat. No scathing criticism, nothing. And then, I handed the teacher my pages of source material. She looked puzzled for a second. I clenched. She looked at me and said, “Ugh, finally a works cited that I can actually use. Thank you!”

I then promptly went home, popped a few valium and zonked out. Well earned rest.

Heute gestohlen – morgen schon in Polen

Upfront, lemme say that the title is a joke and not an insult, but it's also not false either. The joke is “Stolen today – in Poland tomorrow.” Unlike the US, where all of our Polish jokes talk about how stupid poles are, in Germany all of the Polish jokes talk about how they are car thieves, or thieves in general. I find this concept hilarious, and being a person with a Polish last name, the irony never escapes me that I am a kleptomaniac. I already have a collection of 7 beer glasses stolen from various establishments. I would have 8, but I got caught in Constance at Oktoberfest with one in my backpack.

Last weekend there was a school trip to Krakow and Auschwitz. The trip was the same time as a trip to some agricultural trade show, but I decided that Auschwitz might trump a trade show, plus I got the trip for a killer price. So Thursday morning, I hopped on a bus with 10 other German students and we started driving to Krakow. In case you're curious, Poland looks like Minnesota, and it's just about as hard to understand Polish as Minnesotan.

The trip was awesome. I'd been feeling sort of shitty over the past few weeks, what with the weather, isolation, and whatnot, but the other Germans on the trip were awesome and it made it so much better to have spent the weekend with them. They were easygoing and funny and personable. It was refreshing.

We got into town Thursday night, checked into the Good Bye Lenin Hostel, and promptly set out to explore Krakow. Poland (as you might expect) is wicked cheap, well not like 3^rd world wicked cheap, but I've been used to paying everything in euros and Poland's currency is about ¼ as valuable. We had pizza and two half-liters of beer for about $8.50 a piece.

Friday was Auschwitz. It's really hard to give a review of a concentration/death camp. I mean, I really shouldn't call it “good,” you know? The tour was interesting(?) and of course seeing the piles of shoes and walking though the gas chambers and stepping inside the barracks was moving. Auschwitz was “the camp” of the holocaust; it's the world's largest cemetery since over 1 million people died there, and it was the home to Dr. Mengele, who was the most monstrous person I've ever learned about. Still, as a museum goes, I thought Dachau (near Munich) was better. 

Auschwitz, just through the main gate

Birkenau, view from the main gate

Our tour guide didn't really explain anything except the raw facts, and I could have read the signs myself. Also, on a lighter note, the tour guide reminded me of a character from a German parody of Poland. She spoke in a really flat voice and rolled all of her R's. “Now.....Shoo mus rrrrrrememberrrr 'zat in concentratt-shee-owns camp is no food for eat. All is starrrrving. Horrible time. Many death.” The tour was in German, and like I've mentioned German has some (often funny) compound words like “finger-hat” (thimble). At one point our tour guide actually said, “Now, please you come closerrrr to death-wall.” Even the Germans thought this one was funny.

Day 3 was a tour around Krakow with a German tour guide. Krakow is kinda dirty. Not dirty and edgy like Berlin; it's just dirty. It was cool though, and the Polish people are fascinating to listen to when they speak Polish. After our tour, I decided to try to navigate the tram system and find the Harley-Davidson store in Krakow. I don't have a Harley, but a few of my family members do and I thought a Harley Davidson-Krakow shirt would be a pretty baller gift. After an hour of searching, asking, gesturing like a moron, and aimlessly riding the tram, I found the store...but it was closed. So Bob, Robert, Eddie know that I was thinking of you, and if I'd been 2 hours earlier, you'd have a new shirt on the way.

Now, remember that off color joke I told about Poles being thieves? Well during our tour we stopped in the Jewish quarter to learn about the history of the Jews in Krakow. There are also some scenes from Schindler's List filmed there, maybe. I never saw the movie, and I wasn't 100% on what the tour guide said. Anyways, one of the girls stopped to take a picture and just like that, someone stole her purse off the ground. It wasn't that bad, she lost debits cards, drivers license, and some petty cash, but nothing horrible. Still the first words out of our bus driver's mouth were, “Heute gestohlen, morgen schon in Polen.”

die Frustration

I had the opportunity when I was accepted to the program to choose where I would be staying, living and working. The deal was that I had until May 1^st to secure an internship in a foreign country, without being present, and 11 months in advance. Needless to say, I did not secure an internship in advance. I didn't try to secure one in advance. Well that's not totally true, I googled some things, got bored and decided that it was such a long shot that it wasn't worth the effort. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how the mind of a boy genius functions.

Now, the last time I studied abroad, I was in Tübingen. There we had 30,000 students, which included close to 1000 exchange students. There were so many Americans that they didn't even all know each other. There was a bar or club on every street corner, and a party several times in the week. I wondered how people completed their degrees, there was so much to do. I spent 4 months having the best time of my life. I had class like 7 hours per week, I had an enormous friend group from English-speaking countries, and I could travel to France, Switzerland, or Austria for less than 5€ any weekend.

You can imagine my shock when I was placed in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, the least densely-populated state in Germany. My college here only has 2000 students, and of those only about 20 are other exchange students, I can name them all. There is one other American in the town. And there really isn't that much to do here. Apart from the American girl, none of my friends speak English. The nearest and only country adjacent is Poland, which, in fairness I am visiting next weekend. And mensa parties, parties in the school's cafeteria, are a highlight. There are only a handful of bars, but they aren't very hopping.

This placement did not meet my expectations at all. And here's why that's actually a good thing. My expectations were based on a 4-month study abroad stint in Tübingen. Tübingen was a blast, but in Tübingen I got the lowest grades in my life, speaking German was a rarity, and I probably spent more on booze than I did on food. In my defense on that last part, I can cook very cheaply, but whiskey is expensive!

Here in Neubrandenburg, if I open my mouth to speak, it has to be German or I won't be understood. There is most certainly less to do, but this also means that I can't escape to a bar with my American friends or to Switzerland with my Australian friends. It forces me to interact with Germans, to speak their language and to learn their culture. I am also forced to connect with Germans for friendship. I have learned more about German home life in the past month than I did in all my time in Tübingen. And that is the goal of my year here, not to study abroad, but to learn about another culture.

It sucks, though. I sit in class and the professor asks why the Earth has seasons. I know the answer is because the Earth tilts on its axis by about 22° and, as it rotates around the sun, certain parts get more or less light at a different angle, and that's why the sun hovers at the horizon toward the poles, and that's why we have solstices and equinoxes. And I open my mouth, but realize that I don't know how to say tilt, angle, hover, pole, equinox, or solstice. So I have to sit there silently. After class, people tell jokes that I don't get. I meet a German and I want to say “I really like you, you're so smart, and kind, and understanding when I stumble through a sentence and could we please get coffee sometime?”, but all that comes out is “You are cool.”

If I had to pick, I would never have chosen Neubrandenburg. But since I'm here, I'm (sort of) glad of it. I'm learning a lot about what it means to be a foreigner, and what it means to be in a foreign country. It's easy to be abroad when you're surrounded by friends and compatriots. I wouldn't have experienced a very important part of being abroad without having lived here. I would have lived only in Tübingen and claimed to understand Germany and Germans. Now I don't totally understand Germany or Germans, but I'm closer, and I'm thankful, and Lord Jesus I miss 1.50€ shots at Kukuk

die Ordnung und sitzpinkeln

The last time I was in Germany, my best friend Danny came to visit me. Danny got tangled up in a traveling bachelorette party, his brother nearly fought a döner man, and I slept in a trailer. It was a hell of a weekend.

Laura please don't hate me for posting this. Danny didn't know you at the time.

But one thing that stands out about this trip is the moment that Danny showed all the Germans that we were foreign. Danny crossed the street without the proper “grüner Mann” showing. Germans are crazy about Ordnung, “order”, and in Germany you do NOT cross the street unless you have the grüner Mann!

I was in Wernigerode last weekend waiting to cross the street to get to our car, and some chick crossed the street illegally. I thought it was weird, but the Germans thought it was unforgivable. Someone actually shouted at her, “Hey, you can't just cross the street like that. There are children watching you!” Germans don't talk to strangers. Ever. Let me repeat, a woman jay walked, and the passers by felt that it was so out of order for her to do this that they heckled and shamed her for being a poor roll model.

The idea behind it is that societies have order and that goes from the top to the bottom. When you have an autobahn where people can travel (not uncommonly) 135mph, and where unmarked streets mean a speed limit of 80mph, you need to know that someone isn't going to just walk in front of you. So for the Germans it's very important that their kids learn this and learn it quick.

Along the same lines, compared to the US Germany is a sink or swim sort of place. Guardrails: uncommon. Warning labels: few and far between. Speed limits: what? Parental Supervision: laissez-faire. This all relates back to Ordnung. Everyone knows not to wander near cliffs, ergo no guard rails. If you're allergic to peanuts, you clearly can't eat peanut butter, ergo few warning labels. If you drive according to the road conditions, almost any speed can be safe, ergo few speed limits. And so on. Honestly it's kind of nice to see everything function like this. It also saves you from seeing labels like “don't use your blow dryer in the shower.”...Seriously how pressed for time can you be?!

At other times though Ordnung and idiosyncrasy blur together. My favorite example of this is sitzpinkeln, and I've been chomping at the bit to talk about this! I've conducted a straw poll among my male German acquaintances about their bathroom habits. It was a very awkward straw poll. I was astonished to discover that the VAST majority of the guys sit down to pee (sitzpinkeln). I laughed at first, since German humor is notoriously dry and deadpan, and then I realized it wasn't a joke. There are even signs to enure Ordnung in this situation.

"Please sit to pee"

This part of the culture I simply can't internalize. Ordnung says that sitzpinkeln is more accurate than my current method, and vastly superior to my nighttime method of peeing-by-sonar, but every part of me says that boys stand to pee, and some principles are worth fighting for. I'm sort of waiting for my crossing the street moment with sitzpinkeln. I'll be at someone's house and I'll have to use the bathroom. I'll assume my normal stance and get down to business. They will hear the water against water sound of me NOT sitzlpinkln-ing. Ordnung will have to be kept, and I will be heckled and shamed, like the lady that jay walked.

Die Rückkehr des Amis

I'm not really (or at all) a Star Wars fan, but this seemed to fit. Today's title is a play on words from the Star Wars film Return of the Jedi, which, in German, was titled Die Rückkehr der Jedi-Ritter. Ami is a slang word for American. I chose this title because in this post I'm gonna chronicle my return to Berlin!

This time around in Berlin, I was able to see more off-the-beaten-path sights. I'm guessing it was because I spent my time in Berlin with an actual German, which turned out to be helpful. Who knew?

We saw all the normal stuff. Siegesäule, Berlin Wall, Checkpoint Charlie, Brandenburg Gate, Fernsehturm. Checkpoint Charlie was the most disappointing sight of the entire trip. It's literally a ticket booth in the middle of the street. There's a McDonald's next door. I was expecting the gateway between East and West to have a little more...show, more ummph, more anything. I mean for god's sake that TV antenna on Alexanderplatz at least has laserlights. Play some disco music, get some strippers, pass out T-shirts, something. If you go to Berlin, skip Checkpoint Charlie.

We spent some time checking out the main drags of Berlin. Unter den Linden and Friedrichstraße were interesting but very very pricy. There was a Volkswagen store and I got a sneak peak of the new VW Beetle though, hot off the line!

The diplomatic quarter was also fun to see. We killed a good hour here because I wanted to find the Mexican Embassy. See, the picture on the internet of the Embassy showed it with an enormous fence around it, and honestly, I sort of wanted to get arrested as an American trying to break into Mexico. (Un)luckily, we never found it. There were tons of other political jokes running through my head. I really hoped the United Arab Emirates' Embassy would have a fountain of crude oil. No dice. Also, I have to say, India's embassy puts the other to utter shame.

We spent Sunday at the Pergamon Museum, and it was exceptional. The Pergamon has a bunch of stuff from Mesopotamia. It's got the Ishtar Gate, a Codex of Hammurabi, and the entire city of Pergamon from Turkey. It was really fulfilling to see these things because I'd learned so much about them. We spent essentially the first semester of Humanities Class in high school on Mesopotamia. I also forced us to go to the Botanical Garden and I geeked out there a whole bunch.

Oranienstraße was something that my German friend wanted to see because he heard it was popular, but he freely admitted that he didn't know why. This was unexpectedly my favorite place we saw....other than the Pergamon. Oranienstraße started off boring and then slowly we started to see Turkish shops, and then Vietnamese shops, and then art shops. There was also a fair amount of homeless people and graffiti and drunk people in between. My accomplice for the trip got sort of edgy during this phase. I joked about renting an apartment there. He didn't laugh. I don't have any pictures of Oranienstraße because I was pretty sure that if I took out my camera, I would be mugged. This area reminded me why I like Berlin. The street is really gritty (filthy) and diverse (poor) and so alive with people (drunk). I really liked it though and I would love to go back...in the daylight.

So that's it for Berlin, Part II. I'm certain I'll end up back there at some point, but I won't bore you with a third story.

der Rundfunk

Funny word, short post.

Rundfunk means radio broadcast, and this is important because I was just part of one here in Germany. I am posting the link to the show's site. It is in German (both the site and the broadcast) and has a lot of techno music interspersed, so if you have little patience for things European, it might not be the best for you. But if you listen to it, you'll get to hear my melodious voice. Huh, huh?

Here is the link to the show that Annelise and I were in. RadioHirn.de Enjoy!

As we speak -- erm as you read?-- I am working on my second post from Berlin so get ready for that bit of reading pleasure shortly.

die Atzen

Today's word is particularly fitting, if I do say so myself. „Atze" is a slang word from the Berlinerisch dialect. It means anything from brother or bro to fella or pal. The plural is Atzen. This weekend I got to go see my Atzen in Berlin!

Actually I went specifically to see a Cirque du Soleil show that is touring through Europe, and my friends also happened to be in Berlin for the weekend. Erm, I mean, uhh, I went for the sole purpose of seeing them, nothing self serving whatsoever. Gracia, Sergio, and Jennifer live in Berlin. Clayton and Joe, the Madgebrothers, live in Madgeburg, Adam is in Kassel, and Andrea is in Dresden, and we all met up in Berlin.

I am actually in the middle of a Berlin streak. I'm going to Berlin again next weekend and I'll have seen some more sights by the next time I post. I think I'll divide it up so that this post is about Berlin the city and the next post will be about Berlin the tourist location. Sound good?

If you just consider the cities proper, without the metro areas, Berlin is the largest city I've ever set foot in. I ended up liking it a lot more than I expected to. My only previous exposure to Berlin was the Peter Fox song Schwarz zu Blau (below, and just ignore the ape motif, it's too complicated to explain). Granted, Peter Fox is a rapper, so it sort of pays to exaggerate the poverty and criminality of your hometown. You don't hear many rappers reppin' the Hamptons, do you?

But in contrast to the line from the song which goes:

(German) Guten Morgen Berlin,
Du kannst so hässlich sein, so dreckig und grau,
du kannst so schön schrecklich sein,
Deine Nächte fressen mich auf

(English) Good Morning Berlin,
You can be so ugly, so dirty and gloomy,
You can be so beautifully appalling,
Your nights devour me.

I find my opinion of Berlin more in keeping with the quote from the Berlin Mayor „Berlin is poor, but sexy." Yes, he actually said that, and it's become a sort of slogan for Berlin. To be sure, parts of Berlin are dirty as hell, and I wouldn't call it the most beautiful city I've ever visited. Still, something about Berlin fascinates me. A large part of my fascination is the size of Berlin. All you have to do is hop on the S-Bahn, ride for 10 minutes, and you can completely change your impression of Berlin.

Another part of my fascination is the history in Berlin. I don't mean the history you find in museums, though there is plenty of that. I mean, when you walk into an apartment building in Berlin, you quickly realize that this building was there during the Civil War and that there was a family living here when WWII broke out. And since the houses have changed so little architecturally, it's very easy to picture the children running down the stairs 100 years ago to get to school in the morning. Everywhere in Berlin I was struck with this feeling of raw history.

I took a picture, and now that I'm writing this, I realize that it makes a point very well for me. I took the picture last weekend. On the left you can see The Berlin Cathedral, which was build in 1451. On the right-hand side, you can see the Fernsehturm (TV Tower) which was built in the DDR in the 60s, and in the middle, there is the Humboldt Box, which opened this year and is...wait for it....another museum! These three represent very well the ridiculously long history of Berlin, the almost depressing recent history of Berlin, and the bright current times in Berlin.

At this point I am more than a little in love with Berlin and I cannot wait to get back there on Friday.

To close, I'll leave you with another part of the song from above:

(German) Diese Stadt ist eben doch gar nicht so hart wie du denkst.
(English) This city is simply not as tough as you think.

das Abendessen

The exchange students here at Hochschule Neubrandenburg have been having a series of dinners where each person cooks something from their homeland. I already missed Greek and Latvian nights, but I got here just in time for Russian night.

I've found that the areas of Germany I visit are (not surprisingly) heavily influenced by their neighbors. Whereas the majority of the exchange students in Tübingen were Italian, British, French, or American; the majority of the exchange students here are from the East; Latvia, Hungary, Kazakhstan, Greece, Bulgaria, Russia. I really like this since it means I get to meet people from far-flung places. Incidentally, it turns out that the Kazakhstanis look absolutely nothing like they do in Borat. Also, Russian is the lingua franca here instead of English.

But I digress, back to our Russian night. I got to Katja's apartment around 7pm and was surprised to find my new best friend, Mia, there watching Russian cartoons. Mia is the daughter of someone from the Foreign Student Office. Mia is also fascinatingly multicultural. I believe she is ethnically Estonian, but speaks German natively, and also has an ego-killingly good grasp of Russian and Estonian for a 5 year old. To Mia, I am a very interactive jungle gym. I like talking to Mia since she is patient with my German, and she is always energetic. Also it's nice to have little kids around in general.

While Mia and I played bank robber, Katja and several other roommates were busy in the kitchen preparing dinner. In total there were about 17 of us in a 6'x15' kitchen. The main course was varenyky with sour cream. Varenyky are in the same line of food as Polish pierogis, German maultaschen, Italian ravioli, or Chinese pot stickers. They filled the dumplings with beef or pork and then boiled them in a broth with parsley, dill, and bay leaves. They were then served with a dollop of sour cream on top.

Mine didn't have sour cream, but it was my second plate, so presentation was less important.

To drink we had Malzbier. I am gonna have trouble describing this drink, I know. Despite the name it's technically non-alcoholic, less than 0.5%, but it comes in a bottle like regular beer and it's about as fizzy as regular beer. It's darker than coke, almost black. It tastes....well I think it tastes horrible, but seeing as how we drank 4 six-packs, not everyone shared my opinion. But it tastes strongly of barley or hops, and it's very sweet. Imagine walking through the cereal aisle of the grocery store with your eyes closed, now condense that smell, choke it with sugar, and drink it.

Lastly, for what I originally thought was dessert, we had this sort of pie thing.

Right as I was about to take my first bite of it, I heard one of the Latvian girls say, “how do you call this type of fish in English?” But it was too late, the (fish) pie was already in my mouth. I don't think I can say strongly enough how jarring it was to expect sweet, sugary, pie, and actually bite into herring. The Latvians explained to me that the dish was called something like “herring in a jacket” in Latvian, the Russians and the Germans agreed that the translation from their languages was about the same.

Herring under a fur coat, as it's called in English, is sort of a layered salad starting with chopped herring, boiled potatoes, carrots, and covered in a beet and mayonnaise sauce, sprinkled with grated boiled eggs. It was, by the way, absolutely delicious, if not confusing.

I think next week is Hungarian night, but it was sort of hinted that American night is coming up soon after. Any ideas what I should cook? I already suggested buying everyone McDonalds, but it's expensive here and tastes different.

Der Mensch ist ein Gewohnheitstier

Today's word is actually a proverb and it means “Man is a creature of habit.” Well literally Gewohnheitstier means something like a “habit animal,” but you get the point.

I was in Germany in 2008 as an exchange student in Tübingen and I had a dorm very much like my current dorm in Neubrandenburg. My old dorm had a German ghost (the chick was literally never there), a Belgian whose name was something like Korneel, but the R was rolled in the back of your throat and the “ee” was more of an “eh”. Anyways, I made it a point to speak to him only one-on-one so I didn't have to say his name. Finally, we had an Italian guy named Roberto, and I could have written pages about the number of Italian stereotypes that are absolutely true.

In my new dorm, I have a German who is very tall. I don't know how it is for typical height people to see me, but I figured it was nothing special. Then I met Thomas, and all I wanted him to do was sit down. My other roommate is Hungarian and named Zoltán. When I met him, I really didn't care if he sat or stood, but I wanted him to tell my fortune to me. See, I confuse Zoltán and Zoltar:

Unlike my old Guest Oma's house, I'm totally able to take pictures of this one. So lemme show you why I titled this post like I did; I'll show you side-by-side pictures of my old dorm in Tübingen and my new one in Neubrandenburg:

(Old is on the left)

So, I'm clearly falling into some old habits. I have, however, noticed a few key differences though. First and foremost, I speak significantly less English than I did in Tübingen. Basically, unless someone asks me what an English word is, I speak no English in a day. Granted I still Facebook, Skype (occasionally), and read in English, but I'm getting the feeling that I'll sound like an immigrant when I return to the States.

I also enjoy my classes a lot more in Neubrandenburg. They are a lot more engaging, and since I'm at a University of Applied Sciences they offer much more specific courses. So far I'm taking:

Environmental Politics (Umweltpolitik),

Environmentally Friendly Plant Production (umweltschonende Pflanzenproduktion),

Basic Crop Farming (grundlage Pflanzenbau),
Special Crop Farming (spezieller Pflanzenbau),

Special Genetic Technology (spezieller Gentechnologie),

Agricultural Ecology (Landwirtschaftsökologie), and last but not least,

Polish (Polnisch)

I decided on Polish mostly because in language classes you have a lot more partner work so you can meet more Germans, which is good. There is also the added bonus that because the teacher is teaching a language, she speaks really simple German. It's also an ego boost for me; all around me I see the German students speaking with ease to the teacher and asking hard-hitting questions, but when they speak Polish, they suck as much as I do.

So, that's where I'm at after exactly one week in Neubrandenburg. Let me know if you want me to talk about anything special in my blog. I mean, if you are just dying to know how the grocery store looks, how waiters act, or anything specific sent me a message on Facebook or an email or leave a comment. If I don't know about it, it'll be a fun opportunity to research something here.

der Ossi

The word Ossi is the, often derogatory, term for an east German person. I must admit that before I came here, I was slightly apprehensive about being in East Germany. Most of this was my own prejudice. All I knew about East Germany was that Dresden was firebombed out of existence, bananas were a luxury, and everyone speaks Russian.

Another part of my apprehension was the West Germans. It's like in the US, when everyone says that people from Arkansas are so inbred that the entire state only has 3 last names. Or how we joke that California girls (while unforgettable) are superficial, fake-tanned, and perpetually searching for “the after party.” We all sort of know that the people aren't like that, but we joke about the stereotypes because we all know them and it's all just in fun.

I told one German that I was going to East Germany and his next questions was if I had ever learned any fighting sports. I've also watched the movie “Goodbye, Lenin” more times that I can count. Needless to say, my thoughts one East Germany were not the best.

I got to Neubrandenburg about 24 hours ago and really expected to find 1950's style Soviet tenements everywhere. I'm still waiting. I walked out of the train station and was ready to practice my Russia alphabet skills, but everything is in German. I figured I'd have to ask an old woman in a head scarf for directions, but I haven't seen one yet.

I didn't realize I was prejudiced against the East Germans until I found myself always looking around to have these stereotypes confirmed only to have them disproven by the hour. I asked one German girl how long she'd learned Russian, and she doesn't speak a stick of it. I found myself comparing the prices of bananas in the store here to back in Radolfzell; they're the same price. It is shocking to realize you have a prejudice, and it's also really hard to unlearn. I honestly have to say that I still sort of expect the people to be corrupt or lazy like all the West German jokes and films portray them, and this is going to be hard for me to stop expecting.

I don't think I'm going to give my first impressions on Neubrandenburg just yet because I've realized how biased it is. I mean, this is a cool city. My roommates name is, I think, Zoltan, and there is a tattoo convention next week in town. I promise not to get inked. But all things considered I really don't think I could give unbiased social or cultural commentary at this point. Give me some time to stop expecting a parade of tanks and ICBMs to come rolling down the street first.

However, I have to say that some stereotypes are at least partially based in fact. When I got into the cab, the three girls that picked me up started speaking Russian in the backseat. And when the cab driver wrote the receipt for the ride, he wrote it to say that we paid more than we really had so we'd get reimbursed more. Some of the stereotypes are fun and funny, but I'm more wary about how the others that I've learned will affect me.

das Denglisch

I can think of at least two readers of my blog who have already noticed this trend, but I need to bring it to everyone's attention before I embarrass myself. My English is trash. Seriously. Writing blog posts brings it to my attention, but when I speak English, I've lost my flare for word play. Let me give you a taste of what I running through my head right now. The rest of this post, I'll write only correcting typographical errors. I'm gonna go back and add in the appropriate translations, and I'll bold the text whose word order or phraseology is weird but would sound fine if translated into German.

Most of the problems stem from the fact that the deutsche (German) words come leichter (more easily) in my head, and I always have to überlegen (consider) what is the richtige Wort auf (correct word in) English. It usually happens with not commonly used words in English, like trainstation or marketplace (both are one word in German). There are also other words that have a very specific meaning in German and I use them in German because I hear them so oft (often) in only German. For example, das wort (the word) Anmeldung means registration, but specifically in my case it means registration with the city. There is also the verb anmelden, and when you conjugate it you break off the an- and put it at the end of the Satz (sentence). So I will say sentences like “I have not yet melded with the stadt (city) an.” I have problems like this with sentencebau (sentence construction). And I usually get a Mischung (mixture) out of German and Inglisch (English pronunciation with German spelling rules) sentence order when I speak. Or if I'm trying to erklär (clarify) something precisely in Englisch (the -sch gets me every time) I always have to pause and get the sentence right in my head before I speak it out. Deswegen (a fantastic word that means “because of that”) sound ich (I) like a moron or some sort of person who can speak well. Aber in der Tat, bin ich sehr klug, und gut with my wörter. (But in fact, I am intelligent and good with words)

Ok, holy crap. I've got to stop this. Writing like that is legitimizing the problems I make all the time and will probably make me slip completely into German by the end of the post.. Now, I'll go back to correcting everything I say. The word Denglisch is what we call the mixture of German (Deutsch) and English that we speak everyday. We can all understand each other, but anyone speaking only pure English or German, would get lost pretty easily.

In other news, my English spelling is really going downhill. I tried to look up the word “maneuver” today only to realize that I have absolutely no idea how to spell it. Even after writing it down, all of the possibilities looked ridiculous.

On a scale of 1 to 10, allowing myself to write that way has totally destroyed my ability to compose in English, and I'm going to have to end this post early. I guess the moral of the story is that, If you notice me speaking more simplistically, or if you notice that I no longer know how to use a comma the proper prepositions, don't think I'm illiterate.

sich verabschieden

You know that feeling of being really calm? Not normal calmness. Extra calm, like at piece with things. As if at that moment everything crystallizes and the small things you see every day look new and perfect and endearing. As if tranquility were something tangible and you could wrap yourself up in it like a blanket. You can feel this calmness throughout your body when you stand still. Your legs feel strong but relieved, like you were ready to run really fast, and then found out the race was tomorrow. Your back is relaxed, like you are getting a massage from someone you love. Your mind is taking everything in and thoroughly enjoying it. You have no internal monologue, because if you talk, the feeling of serenity would burst like a soap bubble.

Walking to school today, I got this feeling. It's my last day in Radolfzell, and I feel great. I'm sad to be leaving all of the friends I've made here, and I'm sad to be leaving the beautiful area that I'm living it. But this could not be a more perfect feeling to have on one's last day. 

I got on the bus this morning and my bus card stopped working. I looked at the driver for a second and I figured that he'd make me pay for the ride. Then he turned to me and said (in German) "Do you need more time?" I explained that my card (very obviously) didn't work. He said "Do you have a question?" I explained again that my card didn't work and asked what I should do. He said again "Do you have a question?" but this time he gestured that I should just take my seat. He let me ride for free.

I got to town early, and all of the stores were just opening up, and it was kind of chilly and so beautiful. I walked into the store to buy some bread, and on the way, I stopped by a magazine stand and saw the owner's dog playing with a toy and it was so cute. I've seen this dog running around the stand every day and he looks so happy and content all the time. After that I walked through the town garden, and I realized how beautiful my every day life is and it almost made me cry.

On Sunday, we had a substitute Thanksgiving and everyone cooked something. I made jambalaya and we all got stuffed that day. After the meal, we all lazed around for a while. In the background however, Christian, a German roommate of Andy's, DJ-ed a little bit. Here's a taste of our after-dinner time.

So, in conclusion, I am leaving R'zell on the best of terms and I am excited to see Neubrandenburg and experience something new. Hopefully, also, in Neubrandenburg I will have more permanent internet access and I'll be able to Skype you all. Today's word is a verb and it means to say goodbye. And right now, I have to say goodbye to Radolfzell.

das Bier

This post has come far too late for my taste.

After castles, or probably before castles, most people associate Germany with beer. Honestly though, for a people as world-renown for their beer as the Germans there are fewer drunks here than you would expect. Of course, when we walk through the park we see the Park Drunks, but they are more like a street musician. Radolfzell also has that one pudgy guy who walks around wearing nothing but a red skirt drinking cocktails on market day, but he is actually quite nice, and I think he might have a job in addition to being utterly ridiculous.

In any case, we took a trip to a German brewery in the town of Donaueschingen. The brewery is called Fürstenberg, and it is pink.

The brewery tour was very interesting. I was actually very curious about the deutsche Reinheitsgebot and how it affects beer today.  Basically the law is old as dirt and says that the only thing you're allowed to make beer with is water, barley, and hops. The law is from Bavaria and is also from the 1500s. If you were paying attention, you will notice that this beer recipe actually doesn't include yeast. This is largely because microorganisms really hadn't been discovered yet. So later they got added. I don't think the law is actually part of Germany's legal system anymore, but beers will still (proudly) advertise that they are brewed according to the law.

During the tour we got to taste most of these ingredients before they were used to make beer. They all pretty much taste like oatmeal, cornflakes, or other breakfast cereals. 

Here are all the ingredients in their different forms. The hops are at the bottom, in their original form on the left and then in their current pelleted form on the right. Above the hops is the barley. The darker barley on the left is used to make dunkel bier, and it's really the same thing except the barley is roasted a little. This way they can give the beer color and a slightly different taste without using any artificial flavors or colors.

The rest of the tour explained the beer making process. During this time, I learned a fun fact about foreign language: if you stop listening for more than a few sentences, you're pretty much screwed for understanding anything after that. This can be useful when, for instance, you want to ignore salesepeople. You can literally allow yourself to not understand a word they say. It's wild! You don't even feel guilty because you don't even realize they're saying words. Anyways, here is a part of brewery that, I think, has something to do with imparting the hop and barley tastes to the beer. Don't quote me on that.

So after this we were led into a cellar that looked like the opening scene of a zombie movie. After that they must have felt bad for us, since they took us directly to the testing area and we were allowed to 'try' as many beers as we wanted. My friend Geoff, whose ability to talk to people astounds me constantly, got our tour guide to sit down and drink little with us. We talked about 9/11, beer, and politics. Basically typical German small talk. If you ever try Fürstenberg, I recommend the Edelbräu or the Dunkelweizen.

We left the brewery, a bit tipsy, and we were astonished to discover it was still light outside. That was jarring, but not entirely unwelcome.

füttern

After taking two classes focusing on apes, monkeys and other primates, I was a liite bit excited to find out that there was an interactive zoo with monkeys here in the area. I heard about the so called “Affenberg” on our trip to Neuschwanstein. Affenberg literally means Monkey Mountain, which is what we called it for the rest of the trip. The Affenberg is in the town of Salem about an hour from Radolfzell.

The sanctuary has about 200 barbary macaques. Macaques are the same monkeys that chill out in hot springs in winter, by the way. Today's word means “to feed,” and the cool thing about this sanctuary is that you can feed the macaques yourself. Like the macaques come up to you and will grab popcorn out of your hand. It's wild!

Also you can get really close to them.

No, I mean like really close.

The macaques are sort of funny to watch. They act like an infant with really good coordination. But they also have moments where they strike you as surprisingly human and relatable. It will be in something like they way they sit or they way they look at you. I tried to offer one of the macaques two very small pieces of popcorn and she looked at my popcorn, looked me in the eye, blinked very sassily, and walked away. My first thought was “that bitch” and then I realized that if I had tourists feeding me all day, I could afford to be picky too.

We were warned that the macaques can get handsy and that we should remove jewelry and just be careful in general. Despite that, one of the macaques did steal Geoff's water bottle and climb a tree with it. I don't think we'll get it back.

But, I have to admit that German sort of disappoints me sometimes. And now is one of those times. In German there doesn't seem to be disctinct words for ape and monkey; they are both just “Affen.” Now this might not seem like a big deal, but the biologist in me is sort of irked by this. German has a separate verb form you use when you rephrase what someone else has said, but it can't muster distinct words for ape and monkey?!

What, you may ask, is the difference between an ape and a monkey? Well there are lots, but in the case of, say, humans and macaques, I can list some interesting points. First of all macaques, which are monkeys, have cheek pouches. Macaques also don't have the same range of hand motion humans do. You can touch your thumb to all of your other fingers; macaques can't. On the downside, you don't (shouldn't) have fangs like a macaque. But macaques can't spin their arms around like we can.

Despite the linguistic shortcomings, I was really excited to see the monkeys and to get to touch them. If you're ever near the Bodensee, check out the Affenberg.

das Schloss

I think one of the first things that comes to mind when one thinks of Germany, other than beer, are the castles. One castle is called a "Schloss" in German. A Schloss is a very elaborate castle that someone used to live in. There is another German word "Burg" and that is more of a fortress, that no one really lived in, but from the outside, they look sort of similar.

This last weekend was a whirlwind of travelling. I went to see Johannes and Julia in Weinheim, and it was nice to catch up with them. I got back to Rad around 10pm and crashed into bed because I had to wake up at 5am to get on a train to see Neuschwanstein!

Actually 10 of us went together. We got a schönes Wochenende ticket, which lets 5 people travel on any of the slower trains in Germany all day. It only costs 39€ total. Since we couldn't use the fast trains, we had to set out early to get to Munich by noon. The trip there was gorgeous. Bavaria is a gorgeous part of Germany. It looks a lot like Kentucky, but the other Germans think of Bavaria like we think of Texas. Basically, the Bavarians are a whole different race of people.

We had to change trains in Lindau, and after spending a few minutes there we all resolved to go back there.

I should mention that this trip took place on a Sunday, which means that Germany was SHUT DOWN. I'm surprised that trains run, actually. If you want food on a Sunday, you are s.o.l. Because of this, Lindau was deserted, and that made it seem like a fairy tail.

After our layover we went further toward Neuschwanstein, and saw more of the beautiful Bavarian countryside.

Upon reaching our destination, we ran into a small snag. Our reservation to tour the castle wasn't showing up on the (purple-haired, 60 year-old) ticket agent's screen. Luckily Joe, was able to sweet talk her into giving us a reservation. It turned out that ours was actually scheduled for October.

While we waited for our reservation we checked out the scenic views in the area.

I have to say that I wasn't that impress with the outside of the castle. I mean, yeah, it's on a mountain, and yeah, it's got a gorgeous view, and yeah, it's old, but I was expecting something more...Disney.

The inside of the castle didn't disappoint. Ludwig II died before it was finished and the people were clearly not eager to continue their labors, so it is largely unfinished. We weren't allowed to photograph the inside of the castle; heaven forbid I decide to decorate my living room with a scene of the 12 apostles and a mosaic of all life on Earth and copy their style...

It was gorgeous, but alas, all good things must end. We decided to get some lunch, weißwurst and dunkel bier, and headed home.

But wait, our fantastic trip did have a snag. Our trains home were late and at a crucial connection our train came in late, but the other trains were waiting for us. Now keep in mind, we have group tickets and it's close to the last train. We get out of the train and the conductor motions (shouts) that we should go to platform three. We looked at platform 8, and it had the train we were supposed to go to. At this point, indecision splits our group and 7 of us go to platform 8 and 3 of us go to platform 3. My group was correct (platform 8), but the other three we stranded in Friedrichshafen without a ticket. It all ended up working out for the best. Two of us stayed behind at the next stop and waited for the other three and we all go home before 1am.

das Fundbüro

Up front I'm going to tell you that this post isn't going to have any pictures, so if you border on illiterate, this may be the part where you stop reading.

You might have noticed that my posts have come less frequently than they did when I was in Washington, DC or in Eppstein. Or maybe you have noticed that the posts tend to come in bursts. Originally this was because I had (and have) no internet at my host Oma's house. Well in between those last posts and now, circumstances have worsened and then gotten better.

About 3 weeks ago, we were all hanging out at the beach, "am Strand" as we like to say, and I had my backpack with me. We then decided to move our little shindig to the altstadt of Radolfzell, I also had my backpack with me there. I then decided to go home; and I no longer had my backpack with me. I went back to the bar(s) that we were in and asked about my backpack, but no one had seen it and I couldn't find it there.

Now I'm not really attached to the backpack per se, but the backpack had my course books, my dictionary, my power adapter, my sunglasses, and my laptop in it.

I asked my German friends what I should do and they all said that I should check at this place called the Fundbüro. I had never heard the word, but apparently it is a municipal lost and found. If you find something here that is worth more than a certain amount, you are required by law to turn it in to the Fundbüro.

Well, I've checked there twice and, as amazing as this office sounds, no one has turned in my laptop. Luckily, a new laptop is not (that) expensive and so I bought one and my mom shipped it here. One thing I didn't lose was my external hard drive and that had a copy of all of my music and pictures and files, so on the balance I have only really lost the laptop. My new laptop arrived yesterday, and I've named him Heiko, which is actually a German name, despite sounding Japanese.

All things considered it could have been worse. I didn't lose my passport, my bahncard, any fingers of toes, etc

die Insel

The Bodensee is large, I'm not sure exactly how big it is, but trust me it's big. Because it's so large it has more than enough room to contain some islands. Today's word by the way means 'island'.

One of the islands is Insel Reichenau, which is a UNESCO WorldHeritage Site. Reichenau is also the place where most of the food around here is grown. The first week we were here, there was also a wine festival there.

But as pretty as Reichenau is, it's not the reason I'm writing today.The last time I was in Germany, my uncle strongly recommended that I visit a place called Insel Mainau, which is located off the coast of Konstanz. Sadly I didn't get the time and I missed it.

Insel Mainau is a botanical island and is somehow loosely related to a Swedish count who I believe lived on the island.

Now you know how I get about plants; it's bad. I just know that one day I'll end up like Seymore from Little Shop of Horrors with some crazy venus flytrap ordering me around. So when my Language School offered a trip there, I was on it like white on rice.

The island is absolutely breath taking. And the fact that it's in Germany makes it all that much better. The island has a winding footpath that takes you all around the grounds. The displays are split between very natural looking scenes of wild flowers and native plants or wildly shaped flower displays. There is also a small petting zoo, but the dwarf pony looked ridiculous and I didn't wanna chance getting anthrax or bird flu by interacting with the animals, so I speed walked past that. I'm gonna stop talking and just leave the rest to be described in pictures.

Here is a map of the Bodensee in flowers. The tall ones represent that agricultural island, Reichenau.

The Swedish Count's Castle

I have no idea who the dude is, but he is standing in front of a really cool waterfall that leads into the Bodensee.

Here is an alley of Redwood Trees!

This is one of those flower sculptures I was talking about earlier.

das Bodensee-Wasserversorgungswerk

Some of you may be asking, “Alex, I’ve heard that European water is nearly undrinkable, how do you cope with your coming lead poisoning or how do you afford bottled water at every meal?” My response to these people is usually that I lived in Iowa, if the agricultural run-off hasn’t fire bombed my endocrine system yet, I think I can handle anything.

In all seriousness though, many people in Europe are completely afraid of drinking tap water, and if you order it at a restaurant waiters will often tell you it’s impotable. Bottled water is even more popular here than in the US, and worse, Germans drink soda water instead of regular water. You will have to look high and low to find water that isn’t bubbly. Maybe to dispel the poison water myth or maybe to show off a local bit of pride, our Language School organized a trip to the Bodensee-Wasserversorgungswerk in Sipplingen. The word looks imposing, but it’s not difficult. When you break down a German compound word, start from the right, which is usually the stem word. In this case the stem is das Werk, which is a factory. All the words and word parts to the left are going to describe this factory. Sorgen is to worry about or care for something, Versorgung is a related noun that means supply or care. Finally Wasser is a cognate and means water. Bodensee is the location. So this place is a factory that supplies the water from the Bodensee. And it was cool as hell!

Most people are not allowed to tour the factory, and our school is only allowed to do it once a year, so they time their tour to the season when the CBYX students arrive. The plant takes water from the Bodensee at a rate of about 4000 liters per second. I figured they’d have the Lake emptied in no time, but it turns out that the Lake evaporates more than twice that amount per second. The water is very clean to begin with and doesn’t have much or any farm runoff and such that would make it toxic. It’s taken from deep in the Lake but it has a greenish color to it.

Once the water is taken out of the Lake it’s filtered to remove algae and other debris. The water is then mixed with ozone to kill any bacteria or viruses (and destroy almost any other things) that are in the water. Finally the water is filtered through a sort of sand trap to catch all of the remaining debris that was destroyed by the ozone.

The factory is at the top of a mountain. This is important because the factory supplies water to people living as far away as Stuttgart all without pumping it. Since Stuttgart, and most of Baden-Württemburg, is at a lower altitude the water flows naturally to it. The Factory supplies 4 million people with water, and I tried this water myself, so the next time some jerk waiter tries to tell me that I have to buy bottled water, I’m gonna drop some knowledge on him.

Finally, after our tour we left the plant, but the busses that took us up the mountain were nowhere to be seen. We soon realized that we’d be hiking down the mountain to get to our train. I wasn’t even mad because after the first turn, I saw this and really stopped caring about the hike.