die Mobilität

Right now I'm knee deep in a project that I expect to consume my weekend, and I'm taking a break to consider my options, plan tomorrow's schedule, and to write this post.

Today's word means “mobility” and the project I'm knee deep in is me trying to repair/steal/obtain a bicycle. My history with bicycles and Germany is a long (and reprehensible) one. My first German bike I bought from a double amputee at a flea market, I learned later that it was likely stolen and was subsequently fenced to me. Strike one. The next bike I got was an ill-conceived solution to a temporary problem. It was my last night in Tübingen, and I was stranded in the student village at 3am. I had to check out of my room at 6am. So I poked around until I found a bike that wasn't chained up and rode it home. This bike was clearly abandoned; it had vines growing on it. But still, strike two. My third bike was found in a wooded area in Radolfzell. Ok, not a wooded area, it was a hedgerow, by an apartment complex. I refused to buy a lock for this bike because that would be a “capital investment.” I just banked on people thinking the bike was too crappy to steal, which ended up working until 2 days before I left Radolfzell. Strike two and a half. My current bike is probably the only one that is neither stolen nor...stolen. I bought it off my Tandem partner. And the first time I rode it, I fell and scraped the crap out of my knee. Like all the bikes it needs some work, namely new tires and inner tubes (The tires proudly advertise that they were made in "East Germany"). A new bell would be nice. OH and a basket! No. No basket, let's not get greedy.

Why, you may ask yourselves, does Alex go to such lengths to acquire a bicycle? Doesn't he have a bus pass? Can't he just walk? Let me explain myself. In Germany everyone has a bicycle and these people pay stupid money to have a bicycle. I was talking to a friend on Sunday night and he said his bike was pretty cheap at 400€, or about $500. I've seen bikes here that cost well into the thousands. Mine cost 25€ with a lock. But these people love their bikes, and they have the calves and butts to prove it.

Bike culture is a lot more developed here, mostly I think because owning a car is so expensive. In the States all of my friends have cars, all of them. In Germany driver's licenses are expensive, and driver's ed is also expensive, and gas is expensive, and cars themselves are expensive, and parking said car is nearly impossible...and of course expensive. At home my driver's license cost $25, I got it when I was 15, and when I left the states, gas was about $3.10/gallon, and I bitched about that! In Germany you can't start the driver's license process until you're 17. Driver's Ed, which ends with you getting the license hopefully, costs about $1300. Oh and gas is around 1.59€/liter, which is about $7.90/gallon. So it's understandable why bikes are a big deal here.

So, that explanation aside, I need to get new tires on my bike, but this has presented two problems. 1. I only have pliers, a screwdriver, a butter knife, and a razor blade for tools. 2. I don't wanna drop twice the price of the bike to replace its tires and whatnot. But then a sort of solution presented itself when I was doing laundry. I walked into the basement and saw this:

The thieving Polack* in me gasped

Yes folks, a cellar full of bikes. I did a quick pass to see if any bikes weren't locked up, but of course it couldn't be that easy. I did however find some bikes that had already been picked at by the bicycle vultures. So I started making an inventory of those bikes and what they had to offer me. Several of the bikes have their front wheel locked to their frame, which means the back wheel, seat, and other things are mine! Several other bikes have their frame locked to the wall, which of course means a front tire for me. It has taken some careful planning, but I've managed to piece together a second bike from parts of broken bikes, and I'm learning significant amounts about bicycle (de)construction! Currently this is how my bedroom looks.

I've been sneaking bike parts into my room all night. I make sure to wear a coat to the bike cellar so it looks like I just came in from outside. The green bike is the one I bought, and the red one was chained to itself with a combination lock. I spent some time trying to crack the lock's code, and then gave up and hacked the cable apart with a razor blade and pliers. At this point my only hurdle remaining is not having a wrench or a pump. If I had those things I could fix both bikes (and probably sell the red one to cover my costs). The alternative is to simply go to a bike shop and ask to use their tools if I agree to buy the materials from them. This of course saves me tool costs, but prevents me from using most of my found materials. This part I'm still hashing out in my head. If I find cheap tools though, the bike shop is a non-issue.

At this point I would again like to emphasize that I only scavenged on the bikes that were already all torn to hell. Not the bikes that were just missing something; I went after the bikes that barely fit the description of bikes anymore, and a fair amount of parts are simply littering the floor of the basement. So my conscience is clean, I think.

I didn't even touch this one; it looked too pathetic.

*I know "Polack" is derogatory, but I'm using it self-deprecatingly here.